Wednesday, July 23, 2008

a year of mommyhood under my belt, well almost

so molly is turning 1 in like 2 weeks. i can hardly believe it. the first year has really gone fast. sure there are days when she is cranky, and grumpy, and it feels like forever. then there are days that i think "wow, when did you start moving so fast?!" she has grown up a lot, and to think a year ago she was still inside me. i am now starting to get sad about the first year, and all of the accomplishments she has achieved, and what is still to come. i was putting all of her pictures in photo albums to display at her birthday party, and to just remember the exact day i saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test, to now, watching her look at books and turn their pages. holy crap!

a year of motherhood has taught me a lot, and i know it will continue to teach me. i definitely do things i thought i never would, and i give in to her all of the time. but something really important it has taught me is to be less judgemental. once you become a mom you become part of this big motherhood club i think. you see moms, and women in general in just a different way. you understand a lot more about them, and why their kid is screaming. because sooner or later, your kid is going to be the one screaming in target. you really see the struggles of women trying to balance life, husbands, kids, jobs, housework, etc. you become more empathetic and less harsh with people. a lady at church always says, "no judgement here." and i think, you know, you are right. now, i do think there are times when someone should be like, ok you are breaking the law, or not acting in a godly-manner. but for the most part she usually is referring to giving your kid the extra bottle, or letting them crawl around way past bedtime.

last week when adrienne was here-which sidenote, was a great visit- we talked about our labor and delivery experiences. which another thing, once you become a mom, you are allowed to think your experience was the worst one out there! i give you permission, because i sure do think mine was awful! i could scare teenage girls away from getting pregnant by telling them my 3 day experience! so go ahead ladies, pat yourself on the back for all of the hard work you did to get those babies out!

molly has also taught me a lot about being gentle, and patient. i used to think i was a very patient person, and now i feel sluggish waiting on her sometimes. i love to go exploring with her everyday, and chasing her around the house. the simple toothy smile she gives me is seriously is enough to melt me. but i usually choke back tears and thank god for blessing me with her. i am still amazed at what a wonderful gift molly is, and that eric and i had a hand in creating her.

you know being a mom isn't always easy, and it's not always pretty either. but the reward of seeing your child everyday is seriously the best. sometimes when i get so proud of molly i sit and wonder if this is how god feels we do something right. i bet he cheers just as loud as the rest of us when one of his kids does something monumental.

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