Friday, January 15, 2010

Processing

It's funny how so much can change in a week.  I think back to last Friday, what we were doing, what was I thinking about, I am pretty sure I had no cares in the world.  It's amazing what happens in a blink of an eye.

We are still processing everything.  It's slowly becoming more real to me that I will not be giving birth in August.  We will not be celebreating a 4 year old and a 1 year old birthday together in 2011.  We will not be dedicating a baby at church this year, and I will not hold you until I get to heaven.

But through all of this God has and continues to show us his grace and mercy.  I can feel his favor upon us, and he is comforting us right now.  I would be lieing if I said I have not had any "why me, God?" moments, because I have.  I even have "why them and not us?" moments.  But then I remember that God has a perfect plan for each one of us, even our baby that is waiting for us in heaven.

Processing is a good word for what we are feeling, thinking, learning, and living.  I feel like I am not just grieving the loss of this baby, but the loss of all of the memories we planned on making with him or her.

Thank you for all of your prayers, still.  We feel them, and need them.  You all have been wonderful to us with your encouraging words, and outpouring of love that you have shown us.  You will never know how blessed you all make us feel.  Thank you for that.

"Time is a very precious gift from God; 
so precious that it's only given to us 
moment by moment." 
-Amelia Barr 

21 comments:

Sarah Robbins said...

We will keep praying for you. I am so broken for your loss, please let us know if there is anything at all we can do that would help even from a distance. . .

Somethings Gotta Give said...

Yes, I know all those folks. Small world huh!! Have a blessed weekend.

Kristin said...

I love you Kate and I will be praying that God will continue to comfort you.

Veronica said...

Still thinking of and praying for you, Kate!

Jennifer said...

Love you!

Phil said...

Our love and prayers are with you.

April said...

You will definitely need this processing time, it feels differently for every person. Praying for your comfort and peace.

amanda said...

continuing to pray.

Kelly said...

Praying so much for y'all!
Love,
Kelly

April said...

I hope this isn't an insensitive question Kate... I think the shirt you got Molly is adorable! Where did you find a Big Sister long sleeve top like that?

Steph T. said...

Thank you for being so open and real with us about this journey you are on. God's comfort and peace for you all. We are praying for you.

September said...

Kate - I love you dear sister in Christ! The Lord is walking right beside you... take small steps while you heal.. heart and mind.
We have walked this path,,, many time, and we have found there is no greater healing than time and His Word.
Love you!

Kendra Lee said...

Oh, that is so hard! Definitely praying for you guys!!

Holly said...

Life can certainly change in an instant. Your hopes and dreams for the child you longed for can be dashed in just one moment. Kate, you and Eric will grieve the loss of everything you will never have with your baby. You are no stranger to grief, but you are new to the grief of losing a child. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. I don't know if it is something that you would want to do but many parents find it comforting to give their baby a name. I'm still praying for you and I think of you often. I wish we could be face to face so that I could give you a real hug.

Holly said...

Love you.

He & Me + 3 said...

It is a different experience for everyone to process. Praying for you.

Kari @ p.s. love.love. said...

Thinking of you Kate and thankful that His mercy is covering you at this time.

HappyascanB said...

Praying Praying Praying. . .

Erin said...

Kate, I am so sorry for what you are going through. My prayers are with you and your family as you deal with this pain - that God would truly be your comfort and your strength.

I know we have never met, but you feel like a friend and I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and let you cry on my shoulder. Sending a hug across the miles...

Barclay Kathryn said...

Praying like crazy for you.

the Spocks said...

I am so sorry you recently had a miscarriage. Perhaps naming the baby and buying something that would remind of that baby would help. I found you blog thru Holly's. I pray in the future you will have a healthy pregnancy.