Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wounded, but not broken

God has really, really impressed upon my heart that I am wounded, but I am certainly not broken.  Yes, these past 2 months, from finding out that I was pregnant, to miscarrying the baby, to miscarrying again have been hard.  I have cried, cussed, yelled, been angry, been down, but I am by no means broken, because at the end of the day I still have joy, and more importantly hope. 

My faith has been shaken, I definitely feel under attack by Satan, especially since coming on board as the children's pastor at church, and as Eric's ministry grows, but my faith is still strong.  I still believe and trust in a God that can do more than we can imagine, that still performs miracles, that extends grace, mercy, love and forgiveness to all of us, even the ones who don't believe in him. 

So here I am wounded, but not broken...

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." James 1:2-4


"Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life." James 1:12

21 comments:

Barclay Kathryn said...

Good for you. Your strength is inspiring and satan only attacks when he's feeling threatened and to those he is the most threatened by. Praying.

Sarah Robbins said...

Oh friend. . . My husband and I prayer for you last night during our devotions. . .

The verse that comes to mind right now for me is 2 Corinthians 4:

"7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."

Jesus is alive and at work in you- he promised it!

Sarah Robbins said...

I also find this one so encouraging in my trials. . . 2 Corinthians 12:

"7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I will keep you close in my prayers today. . .

Kristin said...

Praying for God to heal your wounds, Kate. Love you!

September said...

Your strength is being made perfect in weakness Kate. Your words are inspiring. Keep resting.. I am praying for you. Big Hug to you!

3 Blessings said...

Continue to seek him for your strength and comfort. Praying for you and your family.
Blessings,
Amy

Lauren said...

The verse that God gave me when I miscarried our first baby was Isaiah 54:10 ... it's carried me through many difficult days. Your strength and hope is wonderful!!

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you..."

Jenilee said...

Praying for you!! I understand that "under attack" feeling. I know that is what's happening around here. Anything to take my mind away from ministry and others and onto my own struggles.

Another IRL friend of mine told me last night that she miscarried her baby. This is the second miscarriage in 6 months. I was heart broken... maybe more so because her husband has just started coming to church and this has been a big set back for him. I was thinking about you when she told me. I just wish that there was something I could do but I know that prayer is really the only thing we can do. Turning to God is our best option.

Love the verses that you have shared.

God Bless!

Becca said...

I promise it will get better. You will never ever forget about it and more than likely think about it every single day of your life but when you do get pregnant again, it will just be that much sweeter. HuGs!

Mom Putnam said...

I just thought-We ALL are broken, but HE is the only one who can fix and mend us. The more the devil throws at me the more I am determined to show him he that there is no room for him at this inn and for him to keep on going. Praise God for all he does for us and the mighty cleansing power!!!
I am lifting you up Kate (and the family)

HappyascanB said...

Praying for you. So thankful for how God's revealing Himself to you in the midst of such heartache.

Kendra Lee said...

It is so good to hear these words coming from your mouth (um, blog). Thank the Lord for the hope and joy He gives us, even amidst the most fiery trials.
Praying...

Kristen said...

There you go! <3 Praying for you still!

Steph T. said...

Kate...very well put...wounded not broken. Please go meet my friend Rachel..she lost her daughter Abby when she was 4 months old to SIDS then had to miscarriages. I think her story might be good for you and to see her on the other side. She will deliver a sweet baby boy on Feb 5th...Rowynn is his name. I sub with her sometimes. Here is her blog link
http://stampersoklahoma.blogspot.com/

Holly said...

Still praying for you.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me. Philippians 1:19-26

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7

Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) I pray for your comfort and for Satan to go away quickly.

Kari @ p.s. love.love. said...

Very well said and wonderful that you stand strong and declare that you are victorious over the enemy, because you are not broken! I think of you daily, Kate and wish I could do more to make you feel loved from Colorado!!!

Veronica said...

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. So thankful for the hope we have in Lord!

Somethings Gotta Give said...

I am praying for you sister!!!!!!
Be consumed with His peace...His joy and His strength...which is only found in Christ Jesus. He will carry you. What a beautiful thought.

In Him...praying diligently for you and your family...with love, Kim

Katie said...

I have been under some pretty dark times. You feel like God has left you. Each time I feel like that he does put the right people in my life, or the right sermon or song. I know that He is with you as hard as it may seem at this very moment. I will be praying for you that He will meet you where you are and you will feel loved in His arms. Hang in there.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Kate,

I am so sorry for the loss of your babies. I had no idea you were walking through this right now. Haven't been by in awhile. This was a beautiful post.

Praying for you, dear...

Love,
Kelly