Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wednesday's Walk- My girls, My miracles



Today for my memory I am going to share more of what is on my heart, in hopes that I remember this overwhelming grateful feeling that I have right now.

Today when I was walking at the gym I was watching this one exercise class working out...which led me to think about so many different things, which led me to randomly think about Molly and what a miracle she is in our lives.  I was about 13 or so when I was diagnosed with endometriosis.  Which 13 years ago no one really talked about it, nor was a lot known about it.  I remember having to go the "lady doctor" because my doctor whom I had since birth, and was a guy had no clue what was going on.  I also have a lot of issues with cysts, them growing, bursting, it's an awful cycle.  When I was 15 I had my first laperoscopy done to help laser away scar tissue, the endometriosis, and check out my "womanly area."  I remember laying in the recovery room, and my doctor talking to me and saying I was probably never going to have kids and I would struggle with all of this for the rest of my life.  Then I nodded back to sleep.

Eric and I were dating at the time, and I remember he came to visit me in the hospital and I told him I was never going to be able to have kids, and I am sure I was emotional, more than likely knowing myself, and I remember him telling him in his wonderful, 16 year old guy way..."I don't love you because you can have kids, I love you because I just do."  Awww...

Fast forward to December 2005...Eric and I had just gotten married in May, I was being wheeled into the recovery room from another laperoscopy and my doctor telling me pretty much the same thing all the other doctors told me through out the years.  11 months later our Molly Ann was conceived and she was born in August 2007.

I knew not having kids was a huge reality for us, and I am not in any way saying that God likes us better, or decided to bless us and not some other couple...but I am saying how grateful I am that I have a curly, blond hair, blue eyed girl calling me mom everyday.

I am now 3 months from my due date with another little miracle inside me.  After our miscarriage and emergency D&C in January, we again were told we may not have another child because the doctor's could not be sure how badly my uterus was scarred from the procedure.  I spent a lot of time praying, crying, crying and praying that God would just make me content, content with the idea that it was going to be the 3 of us for the rest of my life.

I can say honestly, 100% I was content with the idea of being a family of 3, and I truly felt fine with it.  Then I found out I was pregnant.  One month after everything went down, two pink lines showed up on that test, that test I didn't want to take because I know of the heartbreak it brings when there is only one line.

Lucy May is my second miracle.  She has brought me great joy, helped me in my grief over the baby we lost, and restored hope and faith in me.  All of that and I have yet to meet this chick!

So as I finished my walk around the track I felt so grateful to the Lord, grateful that he chose me to carry and raise these girls, my girls, Eric's girls, His girls, our girls, our miracles.

12 comments:

Kelly said...

Your story is nearly identical to mine- except that my 2 laps were done before Jacob and I got married. I have been feeling this same gratefulness even on days when I'm overwhelmed at the thought of having 2 babies in 1 year! :) Thank you for sharing your heart!

Lauren said...

this is such an encouraging story of hope! I can relate about 1/2 way... I've only had 1 lap so far (expecting another one in the next year or so) and 2 miscarriages. I feel that same overwhelming gratitude about getting to adopt Tucker. God is so good to His children! :)

Kristin said...

Wow, Kate, I had no idea you had went through all of that. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and for letting us see your sweet miracles grow up here on your blog! Love ya!!

Jenilee said...

wow. what a wonderful God we serve. you have an amazing story to share! thank you for walking us through that painful journey and allowing us to rejoice with you for your two girls!

Stephanie said...

Beautiful words, Kate. I never knew this part of your story and am even more amazed that you are blessed with TWO babies despite all the obstacles in your way. It reminds me of the story of Sarah and Abraham. I was listening to a version of it on Down Gilead Lane yesterday and it was so amazing to me that God blessed them with a child even in their old age. With Him, there is truly NOTHING impossible. Blessings to you - and thank you so much for sharing!

Veronica said...

I don't think I'd ever heard you tell your story before so thanks for sharing this! I love this post and think it's amazing the way the Lord worked things out so that you could be a Momma. Your girls truly are miracles and proof that we serve an awesome God!

Holly said...

Definitely little miracles and I'm so glad that God has blessed you with them!!!

HappyascanB said...

I'm with Kristin. I somehow missed all that! But I'm so thankful God saw it to bless you with precious Molly and Lucy! He's so good to us! What a precious post this was.

He & Me + 3 said...

Beautiful post. I didn't know that about you. What precious miracles you have.

Alison said...

Thanks for sharing the story of your precious miracles from God!

Becca said...

I am in tears reading this story! SO amazing those precious little miracles of yours!

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

What a wonderful blessing! And now another blessing in store... Truly reasons to rejoice!

Blessings & Aloha!
(Ah! trying to get around still to more Walk Down Memory Lane links!...and it is almost time for the next one! I would love if you get a chance to stop by mine :o)