But the thought of eating like "regular" food scares me a little bit, I am scared to gain back the weight I lost, or that I won't be able to control my portions. So that is some of what I have been struggling with.
Cravings are still hard to deal with. I love pop, I do, I crave pop. And I have not given it up, I am not like Lysa, who gave up carbs and sugar, and I justify it by telling myself, "it's diet, it has no calories in it." Which is true, I also tell myself, "okay, one more glass, you need this, it was a long night, just half a glass more." This usually happens in the afternoon, when the girls are napping. So telling myself and strictly staying with one glass of diet pop a day is it, that's all I get. So I plan my pop indulgence wisely now. Like on Saturday night we went to a wedding and I knew I would probably get pop there, so all day I kept telling myself no, no, just wait. I am glad I did, and now I have proven to myself that me and God are in control of these silly cravings.
Exercise...I wish I was more devoted to doing this. I only exercised 2 times last week. Both times I was glad I did it, you know after it was over. But I kept lacking motivation, and sometimes I just didn't manage my time very wisely in order to work it into my day. So this week my goal is to exercise 3 times. I would love to be like I am going to work out 5 or 6 days, but lets keep it real here. Three is my goal this week.
Week 1-Start of this journey- 156 lbs
Week 2- 152 lbs
Week 3- Maintained at 152 lbs
Week 4- 149.5 lbs
I was trying to not get my hopes up for a "good number" this week. But I am glad to see another 2.5lbs is gone. Anticipating getting on the scale today really had me thinking about in the book when she talks about not being defined by the number on the scale. I knew whether or not I lost weight I had already achieved a little goal. About 2 months ago I bought some new jeans. They were my pre-pregnancy size, and they fit in the dressing room, or so I thought. Then when I got home and tried to wear them out I was in pain, literally in pain. The waist was so tight on them, I could not sit comfortably, and usually when I wore them I had to unbutton them about an hour or so into the day. It was embarrassing and yet I am too cheap to go buy a different pair of jeans. For a while I wouldn't even wear them. Last week I put those jeans on and voila! They zipped with ease, and I could wear them the entire day without once feeling uncomfortable or in pain! That feeling of "yes!!!" helped when I really wanted to bake a pan of brownies and try and convince myself that I would only have one. Because we all know one really means like 3 or 4, or half the pan.
If you want to discuss "Made to Crave" more go visit Kelly. Each Monday she is devoting to discussing the book and sharing her journey. You will also meet others on this journey!
Each day is literally a struggle and I have to make the constant choice of being smart about what I eat. And more than what I eat, I have to make the constant choice of asking God to go on this journey with me, and for me to crave him more than food.