Now onto this week, the beginning of week 7...I will just start off with this part...
Starting Weight: 156 lbs
Week 7: 146.5 lbs
I was really hoping to hit that 10 pound mark, but nope, not today. Which is fine considering everything we ate this weekend with my in-laws! I actually was pretty good, we all were. My FIL has probably lost almost 40 pounds since January, so he doesn't want to throw all his hard work away, either. So we didn't do awful, but there were some cookies and No Pudge Brownies eaten this weekend. Have you ever heard of No Pudge Brownies? They are supposed to be healthier for you, they have no oil in them, and you add yogurt. They were good, everything we ate was good! I had McDonald's this weekend for the first time since starting this journey. I was so nervous to eat there. We were at the mall Saturday and it was lunch time, well really nap time, so we wanted to get Molly something to eat and then go home for her to nap. So we all decided to just eat at the food court. Molly wanted Mc D's, and I was hungry but nothing sounded good, so I just went there with her. I got a grilled chicken sandwich. It was good, but I felt just awful after eating it. I wasn't sick with like food poisoning or anything but with guilt. Like, almost depressing guilt. Which now I think if I knew I was going to feel that way I would have totally gone all out and gotten a big juicy cheeseburger or something. Grilled chicken wasn't the worst thing to eat, good grief. If you haven't read Kelly's post yet today I encourage you to go do so. She talked about everything I felt this weekend. Where is the balance when you fall off the wagon? Where is the grace? I think I have a harder time with cheating a little since I am not on a super strict diet, I haven't taken out sugar or carbs like Lysa, so I think it's harder for some reason to just try and eat healthier, knowing you can eat it all. I am a very black/white person, no gray. But there is a lot of gray here on this journey, and needing a lot of grace. But I know it's very easy for me to swing back into old habits in my black or white mentality. So it's mentally been tough for me lately.
I know I told y'all that we did not renew our gym membership this year due to saving money and now our campaign at church. But the general manager goes to The Ridge and told Eric he could give a us a good deal, and lets say he really did. So we now have a 6 month membership at the gym to start out with. Which in 6 months nothing is really going to change for us financially, unless we start playing the lottery, and happen to win, what do you think the odds are? Ha! I wish the membership started in Sept. when it's getting cold out, so we could go in the winter, but I will take what we have. So today I am attempting to go back to the gym, and can I tell y'all I am petrified! Like worst than the first day of school nerves you get, like terrified! I am so not a gym person, I go in, do my thing and get out. I am so intimidated! And with the girls I will go in the morning, which I love their child care, so that's a plus, but it's filled with other women who have had 5 kids and look like they have a body of a 14 year old girl. I am the one in the sweats and big shirt, ha! Not the sports bra and spandex, I would scare small children wearing that! So, here's to some more regimented exercise because doing it at home, is not as easy as I tried to convince myself it would be. I don't have the discipline to do it, I just don't. Hopefully this helps with balancing out the eating healthier!