Monday, May 23, 2011

Week 11...missing the mark

Week 11 begins and with 5 days to go until our anniversary, I am going to miss my first goal.  I wanted to weigh what I did on our wedding day, and I am not going to.  And you know what, that's okay.  I am bummed and disappointed, but I am also happy that I have taken this journey, and will continue on this journey.  It's been so much more about weight loss for me, it's been about obedience, making wise choices, relying fully on God, and trusting myself to do the right thing.  Through this journey I have not always made the wisest, healthiest food choice, I have cheated here or there, okay everywhere, and I have not always relied on God to get me through those late night cravings.  But through it all I have learned a lot about myself and what I can accomplish with God's help. 
{Weigh In}
Starting Weight: 156 lbs
Current Weight: 143.5 lbs
I lost 1 pound from last week

 I know there is no way I can lose 3.5 pounds in 5 days, and I am not going to trick myself into thinking I can either.  This week is crazy with my mom and step-dad visiting, I am leaving Thursday with the girls to go back to Ohio for my niece's graduation party and ceremony, and returning home on Monday.  So there is not a lot of time to work out, so I will have to make really healthy choices, and also I plan on eating some yummy treats my MIL is making for Mandy's party.  So although I sound totally contradictory, I am okay with where I am.  I truly think working out and running is playing a little bit into the number on the scale, too.  Maybe I am crazy, which I often wonder, but I have been running a lot, so hopefully I am adding muscle and will lose the fat soon.  

At times I feel like I have failed and other times I am as happy as a lark.  I know I can do it, I know what I have to do to get it done, and it all will happen.  I think these last couple pounds are a great reminder that I still need to rely on God for all things and to remain obedient to Him.  I feel pretty good about myself and I have noticed some changes in my appearance too.  I still feel flabby around the middle, but my wedding ring is big on me, which it has never been big on me.  I am smaller in a particular area that most women would like to be larger in, now that statistic includes me, ha.  So I am not sure where all the weight has been distributed, but that's okay.      

So whatever journey you are on remember: "I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Phil. 3:12-14

Friday, May 20, 2011

My Week in Review

Filled With Praise

I am linking up with Amy today...for the last time.  She is taking a break from doing this meme, which I totally understand and respect.  So make sure to pop over to Amy's blog and show her some love!

I think I will just one big run-on sentence of highs this week...sunshine, my girls, my wonderful husband, friendships, my church, my God, running, happiness, sharing Christ boldly with hurting people, my Ridge Group, and my mom and step-dad are coming to visit tomorrow, big Texas sized bows for my girls, and cheap, cute sandals!

My best friend's father-in-law suddenly passed away on Tuesday morning, he was only 56.  I only met him a couple times, but he was a very strong man in the eyes of the Lord.  John, or as his grand kids called him, Big Daddy, will be greatly missed by anyone who had the pleasure of meeting him.  Please pray for the Fuller family.

{Lesson Learned} 
I feel like this is a lesson I know, learned, and re-learned, but I am still perfecting attitude absolutely, 100% shapes the attitude of my family.  And it is so true friends.  Think about it.  So I am learning to constantly readjust my attitude and get in the word more.  I need to soak up scripture way more than I have been.  So that's a goal for this coming week.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Cutest Story

I have been meaning to get on sooner, but it's just been one of those weeks, plus, we have been pretty boring lately!  But I wanted to share with you all this cute story that happened to Lucy yesterday.  On Wednesday's Molly has speech at our elementary school, and her classroom in in the library.  Well, from the outside it looks like a closet in the library, but behind the door it's her class, and it probably is as big as a closet!  So Lucy and I just sit in the library and hang out during her session.  I usually chat with the librarian, feed Lucy, read email on my phone, anything to pass the time.  Every week there are always groups of kids in the library with a teacher either working on reading, math, language skills, or what have you.  There is always some sort of reading group going on with the same teacher every time we come.  Yesterday their teacher had to step away for a couple of minutes and the librarian was watching them.  They all asked if they could come over to see that baby-Lucy.  So the librarian said they could, so a group of about 5 fourth or fifth graders came over and started talking to Lucy and they were making her laugh, and Lucy totally ate up all the attention.  What a ham!  So when their teacher came back they were all sad to go back to their table. 

A couple minutes later they all came back over and asked if they could read to Lucy.  So I said sure, and they all took turns reading about bones.  It was so cute and they all were so innocent and precious.  Lucy sat so content and listened and they all showed her the pictures out of the book.  In the middle of the book Molly got finished with class, so she came out and sat on my lap and listened to the book, too.  Which was better than I thought was going to happen.  But she did great.  So when they were finished I quizzed them on what they just read, and I think they were a little shocked that I was doing that, but they all knew the answers. 

It was such a sweet moment and a great memory for Molly and Lucy.  I feel old saying this, but I think kids are growing up way too fast today due to TV, culture, parents not caring, and whatever else that is causing this, but in that little moment yesterday these kids seemed so sweet, innocent, were so into Lucy and talking really soft and gently to her, it was so wonderful.  I felt extremely blessed to be in that moment and to know that not all innocence is lost. 

Monday, May 16, 2011

Week 10...muscle weighs more than fat, right?!

The journey continues, friends...
Last week I will admit was one of the hardest weeks at first, then it got better.  I extended some grace and discipline to myself, and got back on the path of eating healthy/getting healthy.  What do they say, it's a jog not a sprint...something like that, right? 
Lets just start with this...
{Weigh In}
Starting Weight: 156 lbs
Week 10: 144.5 lbs
Down .5 from last week

I am certainly not jumping up and down about this, but at least we are back in the right direction. 

I went to the gym 4 times last week, and although Friday morning was so hard to want to go, it was cold, rainy, and nasty out, I wanted to lay on the couch and watch TV with Molly and Lucy, I decided to just go.  I am glad I did.  I am still struggling with the lie I tell myself..."oh, you went to the gym today, you most certainly can have ice-cream tonight."  It really has been a struggle not justifying my food choices and just sticking with saying no, or finding a healthier option.  It is also hard when your husband buys ice-cream and you have zero self-control with sweets, if it's there I eat it 'til it's gone.  So this week we decided to eat more salad and more fruits and veggies.  I think we have been doing pretty well, but we could do better.  Hopefully the sun stays out all week.  I feel like I make better decisions overall when it's sunny, I feel more motivated.  Probably all mental, but hey, I will take it. 

Despite the small amount of weight lost from last week to this week I am feeling better in my skin than I have in a long time.  My clothes are certainly fitting differently and I have a lot more endurance running than I thought I would.  I put on a pair of capris from two summers ago, since I was pregnant last summer and they were too big.  What the what?!  So it's the little victories that make eating strawberries not dipped in chocolate worth it...sometimes...okay, okay, all of the time.  I am not defined by the number on the scale, I am defined by my obedience to God.  Then all the numbers, inches, and waistlines will fall into perfect place. 

Saturday, May 14, 2011

My Week in Review

Filled With Praise

I tried to post on Thursday but since Blogger was down...I couldn't, then I got busy and forgot to do anything this link up is perfect to end to the week!

Mother's Day was awesome this year!  I had one more little person to celebrate with!  The day was so wonderful and just made me realize even more how much I am blessed by my little family and how much I love each and every one of them.  We dedicated Lucy at church in the morning, ate outside for lunch and had great friends over for dinner that night.  In the in between time, we cleaned the house.  I know some of you are gagging at the fact I cleaned on Mother's Day, but trust me, our house needed it and it felt awesome to have Eric's help!  Plus, with small group here on Tuesday's, I didn't have a lot to do to get ready before everyone came over.  

Another high was the weather!  Not so much today or the next couple of days...but Thursday was a beautiful day and I love having the windows open!  We now have the heat back on, but it was nice while it lasted!

Two highs for Eric would be...Lucy is now saying da-da, and over the last month or so Eric has been overhauling all of our yard and landscaping.  I can now say we are no longer the ugliest house on the block!  We have completely changed everything in our yard and it looks awesome!  Eric is such a hard worker and I am so proud of him and all the work he does by taking care of our family and house.  

If you read my post on Monday about gaining back some weight, I would say that was a big low for me this week.  Another low is time management.  I feel awful at it!  I know some of it is the season of life I am in right now, but I always feel behind, or like I forgot something.  So that's a constant battle.

{Lesson Learned}
I would say lesson learned this week is extending grace.  We are going through some situations as a family, and as a church, and we are learning and relearning to extend grace, constantly.  It's tough because sometimes you don't want to, well, at least I don't, but I know God wants me to, and God extends it to me on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.  So although it's been tough, it's also been rewarding.  


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Gardens and Mom's Day

Last Friday Eric, the girls, and myself took advantage of free tickets to our local botanical garden.  Since we have had a long winter, not a whole lot was in bloom.  We saw a lot of tulips and magnolias, but nothing else.  They didn't even have the water turned on in any of the water features or fountains.  But it was a beautiful day with perfect weather and we had a great family outing!

Then for Mother's Day we went to a cute little malt shop in our downtown, no one got malts oddly enough, but we all had delicious food!  Last year we went there just because Eric was working on the house still, and every other place was packed.  So this year I thought we should go back and just make Ferch's a tradition on Mother's Day.  The day was gorgeous, and we ate outside.  It was so wonderful! 

Monday, May 9, 2011

Week 9 and Reality Check

Today begins Week 9 of this journey of getting healthy for me.  And let me say last week was a really, really hard week for me not just trying to eat healthy, be healthy, but I felt like in almost every aspect of my life and all that stress and my emotions led me back down a path I know too well, lets just say I practiced emotional eating at its finest ladies and gentlemen.  I ate those feelings, felt guilty, and then ate them again.  I knew every single time what I was doing was wrong, but I had 100 reasons why I should be able to do it.  And I think I ate all of those 100 reasons.

The deal is I should have never weighed myself last week after being sick, that put a huge sense of false hope in my head this past week that I could reach my goal when I weighed myself this morning.  I typically weigh myself once a week, Monday morning right after I wake up.  And that's it, I don't do it again the rest of the week.  But last week I wanted to see how I was doing and see how close I was to reaching 140 pounds.  I already had the title of my post ready to use today when I saw that number on the scale, I was happily rejoicing until I saw the number that appeared.  What?!  I wasn't losing anything all week, I actually gained weight?!  What the what?!  I was pretty much devastated, so at this point you would think one would get more motivated and kick it in gear, nope, for me I sabotage.  I am really good at ruining things that are going well.  So I sabotaged myself at first with jelly beans.  How bad could jelly beans be for you, I mean they were fruit flavored, sheesh.  So two night in a row of those, not good, plus my stomach hurt so bad.  Then I would do okay, make healthy choices, then Friday we ate lunch at Qdoba, and I normally get something semi-healthy there, well nope, I totally ate the huge burrito, every single bite of it.  It was good, I am not going to lie.  So I told myself I am not going to eat dinner tonight, because I can't even imagine how many calories I consumed at lunch, seriously, I can't bring myself to look it up because I will be even more disgusted with myself.  I did okay until about 8:30, then Eric and I made a frozen pizza to eat.  Well, Eric ended up meeting with some guys that night and left me home alone with that pizza.  It was not pretty.

Saturday was okay because I knew what we were going to eat on Mother's Day, so I knew I had to be good and I was.  Sunday, a different story.  We ate at a cute little malt shop downtown and I had a juicy, delicious cheeseburger, it was good.  Then for dinner we had steaks, potatoes, and salad.  And then we topped it off with ice-cream.  Did I mention that I had mine in a waffle cone, again, it was good.  I love food, I just do.  I have learned if it's around I will eat it, and I will eat it until it is gone.  So I just don't have crap around, well I try not to at least, because I know what I will do, and it won't be good.

Last week I went to the gym 3 times and it felt good.  Last Monday I ran 2 miles on the track.  I did pretty good I think for literally not running in over a year.  I mean literally, it's been awhile!  I ran 2 miles in 22 minutes.  I felt awesome.  On Wednesday I ran two miles again, this time I did it in 20 minutes, booyah.  Then Thursday I did the elliptical and it was good.  Friday we walked around the botanical gardens and all the in between time I was working around the house, so I wasn't totally sluggish for the week.  But the problem with working out is I justify making poor choices when it comes to eating.  I tell myself, "I worked out, I ran, I can totally eat this."  And I really can't, I have to run because I eat crap.  So it's this cycle, again.

In all of this I am trying to be thankful for this body that God gave me, because really I don't need one more thing to be down about.  Parenting a 3 year old right now is enough to send me to the funny farm and question everything about myself.  Funny how much power a little kid can have over your psyche.  So with my head hung in shame I will share this...
  {Weigh In}
Starting Weight: 156 lbs
Week 9: 145 lbs
2 pound gain from last week
So I am getting serious again about all of this...Eric and I talked about how we know we have been slacking lately and our meal planning has not been stellar.  So back to the grindstone today.  I want to reach my goal in time for our anniversary on the 28th.  So I have a little over 3 weeks to lose 5 pounds.  And then maintain it...but that's a whole different journey.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Happy 5 Months to Lucy!

On Monday, Lucy turned 5 months old!  I feel like her little personality is blossoming with each passing day.  She is so inquisitive and wants to be part of the action.  If she feels left out, she will let you know!

Here is what Lucy is up to...
~She can roll from her back to her tummy, she did this a whole 2 months earlier than her sweet sister, but if you put her on her tummy she tries to scoot forward and she tries to get up on her knees...I just want the kid to roll the other way, not start crawling!
~I have been making baby food, a first for me!  I have made all of her veggies and some fruits, but we mainly buy fruits at the store, I am not making prunes!  So for meals Lucy is eating 2 ice-cube veggies, and an entire container of first foods fruit...little piggy!  Plus, drinking a bottle after that!
~Lucy is wearing size 4 diapers, but 5's may be in her future soon.
~She is mostly wearing 18 month clothes, some 12 still fit, but in pants it at least has to be 18 months in the tummy, however they are so long in the legs, we roll what we can.
~Lucy is a momma's girl!  Way more than Molly ever was, it's bad!  If Lucy knows I am in the building somewhere, she gets mad if she is not with me.  She does fine at church, but I think it's because she knows I am in and out of the Nursery all morning.  Lucy loving me a lot does not always go over so well on Mondays when Eric stays home...he usually needs some alone time when I get home :)
~Lucy was sleeping through the night, if she woke up, usually her pacifier did the trick, and she would go back to sleep, but for some reason this week she has been getting up to eat again, so I am thinking we are hitting that 6 month growth spurt about a month early.
~We are working on 3 teeth on the bottom right now and I am about to go nuts, so I can't imagine how Lucy feels!  The one tooth to the right of her bottom teeth I think will break through before the 2 bottom ones.  She is just pretty miserable sometimes, and she hates baby oragel, she acts like you are putting rat poison in her mouth!  Anything she can chew/gnaw on, she does!
~Lucy is into pulling on anything she can get her hands watch your hair, earrings, necklaces, glasses, face, lips, anything, she grabs and she has a grip!
~This proud mama could go on and on, but I will leave you with this...Lucy is such an absolute joy to be around, her smiles and giggles melt all my troubles away and I look forward to every single day with her.  I love you, Lucy!!


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Happy {Early} {Late} Anniversary

Our anniversary is not until May 28th, but we went ahead and treated ourselves to an early anniversary to see...
We are both excited to see Hillsong United in concert here in Milwaukee on June 13th!  We normally would think about going, then make excuses about money, babysitters, getting in late, but not this time.  We just went for it, and I am sure we won't regret it!  So our anniversary is in May, but we are really celebrating in June.  But if for some out of the blue reason Eric happens to read this, which would be like odds of a million to one...feel free to still treat your wife to dinner on our actual anniversary.  Last year we went to someones house for a cook-out and I totally thought Eric was kidding and setting me up for a date night, nope, we really went to a cook out.  It was fun, but you know ladies!

Anyways...I look forward to sharing with all of you our concert experience, you know when we go in like a month :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Week 8 and Lucy is 5 months!

Today officially starts Week 8 on the Eating Healthy/Getting Healthy in Every Sense of the Word journey.  Say that 5 times fast, I dare you.

I will tell you that I am pleased with the number on the scale.  And I know I am not defined by the number, but I truly believe that number represents your obedience to God, especially when it comes to making the right food choices.  I will say I had a little bit of help with this number.  Yes, I survived my first trip back to the gym in about a year.  I was only able to go one time last week, not by choice, though.  I planned to go on Wednesday, but another kidney infection got in the way, then we were going to go on Thursday, but both girls had some random bug that had me cleaning up vomit most of the morning, yuck.  Then Friday I had a doctor's appointment, which I am now on a different birth control to help with the growth of my endometriosis and hormones going all over the board, well, I start it in a couple weeks, but the doctor thinks this will do the trick.  So I was going to go later, and then I got hit with the bug the girls had the day before.  So my first official meal was yesterday's lunch.  So I am thinking my number was skewed a little, but I am hoping and praying with making healthy choices this week and working out more than once, I can at least maintain it, or lose more...who knows :)
{Weigh In}
Starting Weight: 156 lbs
Week 8: 143 lbs
Down 3.5 pounds from last week, and I have surpassed the 10 lb mark, 
only 3 more to go until I reach my first weight goal! 

As much as the saltine/gatorade diet helped me in the weight department, I am pretty certain I can not live off that!  I LOVE food way too much!  Which seems to be the reason I am having these issues, huh :)

Also, today my baby is 5 months old!!  Wow!  I will post pictures tomorrow of her and give some Lucy updates.  But I can tell you that she is still as sweet as ever! 

Another little update to know how our church, The Ridge, just ended our first ever capital campaign...we announced our grand total yesterday at a Celebration Service that included thunder sticks and all.  Not I did not just go "Holy Roller" on you...thunder sticks are what you see at a sporting event, the blow up sticks you bang together and they make a ton of noise, yea, we had those in church...our grand total for 2 years is...$2.29 million!!  Our goal was $2.2, but our people stepped up and sacrificially gave BIG time!  We are praying  that with this money we can reach the 86% of the people here in Milwaukee who don't know Jesus.  I am beyond excited that our people get it.  A lot of the people who are giving to the campaign have never given before, or are not regular givers, that is AWESOME that they chose this to be their first time to give!  We feel so honored and proud to serve alongside these awesome people who love following Jesus as much as we do! 

Have a great Monday!