I feel like school is in full swing this year. We still have over a week before Molly starts, but ideas and thoughts all about kindergarten have been swirling through my head for months now. We are not necessarily new to school, she was in 4K last year. But we are new to the whole all day long thing, you eat lunch there thing, and what not. Molly is beyond thrilled, I still get a churning feeling in my tummy when I think about her being responsible for eating lunch and throwing the trash away. Someone we know is sending their oldest off to college this week and we were talking about the mixed emotions of her child leaving home. Everything she described for her 18 year old, I am feeling for my 5 year old. Did I teach you this, are you okay with that, are you prepared, where have I failed you?! I keep playing scenario after scenario in my head until anxiety totally washes over me and I have a panic attack. Happy School Year, right?!
I am sure by now you are thinking I am crazier then normal, which I might be, but I am being totally, 100% honest and open about my feelings. We have chosen for numerous, numerous reasons to not home school, and I am feeling confident in that, trust me, no regrets from this public school sending mom. But that does not stop me from wanting to go down to the school, introduce myself to Molly's teacher and tell her everything about my child, my first born, my strong willed baby, my stubborn yet empathetic Molly.
Next Wednesday is meet the teacher night, and we will be there. We have all the supplies ready to drop off, and our teacher gift wrapped. We will politely hand off the gift and supplies, do some chit chat with other parents and kids and leave to come home. No mention of how wonderful my kid is. And here is why, it's going to take about a week or so for this teacher to figure out the kids and their parents. She is going to know who the talkers are, who likes art, and who really has no desire to raise their hand when answering a question. She is also going to know all the parents business, because face it, your kid reaps what is sewn into their life. They also repeat just about everything, take it from me a former preschool and kindergarten teacher.
I also want to tell the teacher I got your back, I am with you, I will be here to help, you can count on me. Again, I won't verbalize that next Wednesday. My actions will speak louder than words right now. It won't take her teacher very long to see who really does have her back verses who just sends their kid everyday.
I am extremely blessed that we were able to choose to live in a school district that has small class sizes, that is ranked in the top 1% in the state of Wisconsin, and where kids can experience a lot of great things. I am also blessed that I am able to help out at the school, that there is an open door policy with the principal and teachers, and that my kid loves school. So while next Wednesday I want to totally bombard the teacher with fun facts about my kid, I will do the most important job here at home and that is pray for Molly, pray for her teacher, pray for the other teachers, and for all the kids at the school.
Here is what I am learning, I can't teach Molly everything, I can not shield her from everything, but I can pray about everything, I can pray she makes wise choices, I can pray she chooses to follow God, and I can pray about everything else. And for this anxious mom, that brings me peace like a river.