Y'all know I have a love/hate relationship with running. Hate doing it, but love wearing smaller pants. Sundays are typically my long run days. I usually listen to sermon podcasts during my long runs, during the week I listen to music. Regardless of what I am listening to in my headphones I usually drift off into thought. I think about all sorts of things, and sometimes I just tune out to the world and stare straight ahead.
During my thinking times is usually when I come up with some profound idea. Well, they aren't like world changing ideas, but to me they are like game changing ideas. I know my new ideas come straight from God, usually it is something he is trying to communicate with me. During the week I am too busy to sit and listen, when I am running 8 miles, I really have no choice but to sit and listen.
Then some how I try and manipulate these ideas/thoughts into some great blog post, but by the time I get home real life steps in, and well, you see how quiet this place has been lately. But just because I do a terrible job communicating these found ideas does not mean they still don't swirl in my head. Lately what I have been thinking about is prayer. This is one of the disciplines I have always struggled with, well, prayer and reading the Bible. You know the two main Christian practices, Pastor's Wife of the Year right here I tell ya. But truthfully I am keeping it real, you all know me, I am an open book and I am not going to gloss over this part of my life. I struggle with it, you struggle with it, they are both hard to do consistently.
I am sure most of you are like me, we get to the point where enough is enough and we decide we are going to start tomorrow, we are going to read our Bible's, and we are going to pray, we might even journal or break out a Bible study book we never finished, we are going to do this thing real good now. The next day happens and success, then the next, still success, but by day 5 or 6, we have fallen off the train, and the hope and funness of this whole new discipline wears off and we go back to the same old same old. Our intentions are good and true, our love for God is still there, but we just stink at the follow through. Maybe it's not reading the Bible and praying, maybe for you it's exercise or eating healthy, or not drinking.
So while running a couple weeks ago God gave me this thought..."does your prayer life dictate how your day goes?" I am sure I was struggling with feeling overwhelmed and that fun friend anxiety was probably getting to me. But seriously, do your prayers dictate your day? Mine don't. And let me tell you it stinks admitting that. Now I am not saying just because you pray before you get up in the morning your day is going to be hunky dory, probably the opposite. Satan very easily could use your struggles that you prayed about against you. Or he may leave you alone that day, but get you the next day. This is where consistency and discipline come into play. When you give up and when you fall off the train, Satan doesn't even have to tempt you, or mess with you, you have already done it all yourself. The devil didn't make you do it, you did it yourself. Ouch...
Now let me admit something else, man this is the day of cleansing, I haven't put into action what God gave me that day. I think about it, I have good intentions to do it, to practice consistent prayer, not just the prayer of the crazy mom at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Although, those are some of my most honest prayer times with God. Before Molly started kindergarten I had this overwhelming burden to pray for her. Like could not sleep at night burden. I started off day 1, 2, 3, day 4, oops I missed it, and let me tell you she started school and was not properly covered in prayer from her own mother. Now I am the one dealing with stress, anxiety, worry, you name it. The prayers weren't all for her, they were for me, too. I don't think God is punishing me, I am punishing myself because I know better, but I don't act better.
So does your prayer life dictate your day? Your week? Your month? Mine doesn't right now, but I am going to be working on changing that, one day at a time, and if I mess up or miss one day, I am going to start over the next day. I am so thankful that we serve an all knowing God, meaning he already knows what is on our hearts and minds, all he wants is for us to share those thoughts with him.