Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I am not brave

Church planting is a funny animal.  Sometimes it's cute, furry, and just plain sweet.  Other times it looks like Kujo, foaming at the mouth, scary, and leaves you full of anxiety.  Right now church planting looks like a rabid dog.  I say that with absolute honesty.  You all know I share my heart and soul here, and church planting is no exception.  I pray you see the ups and downs and the God ordained ways things work out over the next couple months, and year while we plant our church.  I plan on being as authentic as possible without being too transparent.  I love transparency but sometimes see through does not equal good or healthy, and it can be hurtful.  So bear with me if you feel like you are missing some details, because you probably are.

When talking about church planting with people we often hear this response "wow, you are so brave, I could never do that."  And then I want to punch them in the throat.  No really, I do.  I am not brave, I am about the farthest thing from brave.  But I am obedient.  I feel called to help my husband start a new church, I feel called to reach people who are far from God, and truthfully if you felt the call like we do, you wouldn't be brave either.

You would be terrified, and full of questions.  You would sit and think about every decision you are making because ultimately those decisions are going to affect your family or church down the road, so chose wisely.  I know this because this is where we are right now.  I told a friend recently that church planting is like mental torture.  When people say "church planting isn't sexy" I normally role my eyes because I think that's about a ridiculous analogy.  But truthfully, it's not for the faint of heart.

Church planting is for the obedient, for the called, for the ones who pretend during the day they are brave, but really at night are cowering in fear.

This journey so far has strengthened my love for Jesus and his bride.  I am so excited to bring restoration to a city that is broken and needs something new.  I am so excited to see what services will look like at our church, and I am excited that our kids get to be a part of this with us, every single step of the way.  But truthfully, I am so excited that God has called us on this journey, because at the end I can't wait to see and taste all that is good. 

So friends, I am not brave, no, not at all, I am called. 

3 comments:

Kelly said...

Praying for you all!

Kait said...

Beautifully written. Thanks so much for sharing your heart. Praying for you all

Rachael Andrews said...

I haven't been in the blog -world lately because of hosting Nadia. But felt drawn to read some of my favorites today. I was drawn to this one and can totally relate. Replace "church planting" with adoption and I could have written this post. I am tired and not brave at all. I think God led me to this so I can see there are others walking the same path in different arenas and I'm not alone...think I will be blogging again soon next week.