Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Living In Grace {Day 15}

Day 15
One thing I have learned in my life is that people say dumb things, like really dumb things.  Once you get over what they just said to you, you can usually laugh about it, or roll your eyes.

When someone dies people aren't sure what to say.  I think they mean well, I think they genuinely want to empathize with you, but sometimes really dumb things leave their mouths.  After my brother died people would tell us "he's in a better place."  Hello?!  I know that, but that's not what my family wants to hear.  Or when people tell you "Heaven needed another angel."  Gag me.

After our miscarriage someone told me "you should be thankful for the one God gave you."  Insert me smacking you across the face.

Like my mom always said, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  If you aren't sure what to say in a very devastating time, just tell the person that.  I would rather know you are praying for me, and you are at a loss for words.  I love people just being honest, I love that a person just wants to be with me, and not say a bunch of mumbo jumbo, and really dumb things.

I personally think that Christians are guilty of saying uber dumb things.  More so than your average person.  People who claim Christ also try to claim a degree in psychology or counseling, too.  {Okay, with the exception of christian counselors, like me, ha}  But honestly, think of dumb stuff you have heard at church or from a churched person.  A lot of it is dumb.  Trust me, being married to a pastor, I hear A LOT.

Sometimes I do get upset, I get frustrated, and I get down right angry.  Other times I force myself to laugh because that person truly has no clue.  I also at times force myself to forgive that person, too.  Most of the time people say dumb things because they get nervous, or just plain don't know what to say, so saying something is better than saying nothing at all.

Grace...people who say dumb things need grace.  I need grace because I say dumb things, and ask dumb questions all the time.  I am so thankful for people who extend me grace.  One time Eric and I saw a couple in a wedding dress and tuxedo, and I totally asked them "did you just get married?"  Of course they did!  I am so thankful to those people who ended up being our neighbors extending me grace and still wanted to be our friends!

Next time someone says something really dumb I challenge you to extend them grace.  You may not feel like it, and you may have to force yourself, but truly, earnestly extend them grace, and live in the grace they extend to you.

Here is a funny video that I absolutely love...

1 comment:

Zion said...

Wow, I can't believe someone would say something so hurtful after loosing a baby. I have heard the other ones before. Oh and that video is hilarious!