Being logical stinks when you are trying to comprehend grace. I grew up going to church, like if the door was open, I was there. As much as that experience shaped my life, I think at times it also did me no favors. I was taught to follow the rules, obey, do what God asks, and I also was taught there was nothing I could do to make God not love me. Both of those are hard tensions to wrestle with.
I get grace, I get what I read about it, I get what it means on paper, but I still struggle with what it means in my heart, in my soul. I am a complacent grace receiver. I know it's always there, and I know I receive it, but it doesn't radically change my life on a daily basis. I often don't recognize the role grace plays in my life, in my marriage, in my kids lives, and in my spiritual journey.
I don't think my way of thinking will change over night, it's something I have to chose to readjust on a daily basis, but I am working on it.
Today I have been earnestly focusing on why I need grace, and why God gives me grace.
Anyone else struggle with this?