Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Why is good news so bad?

Here is one thing I have been noticing, and maybe it's just me, I am a highly sensitive person, so it may be just me, but here it is:


When did sharing good news become so bad?

Do you know what I mean?  I often times see on social media, and in person, when someone shares some exciting news, or something great that just happened to them, some people rejoice with them and actually mean it, and some act happy, and then instantly think...
-Why not me?
-I work just as hard as him/her, or I work harder
-What am I doing wrong?
-They must know someone...
-Well good for them, that's great {all of that said in a dripping sarcastic tone}

I am sure the list could go on and on.  Just wait until someone shares good news with you, and you will find yourself saying one of those lines above, or you can add your own.

Good news nowadays almost comes with a stigma, like you have to make an excuse as to why something good happened to you, or why God opened this door for you, or why...insert the blank.  I know I feel this way when I want to share good news.  And I also know I have been on the end of the good news shared thinking, really why them, why not us?

The stigma with good news has really bothered me lately, so much so that I hardly share good news, or when I do, I make excuses to make the one receiving the good news feel better about themselves.  And honestly, this is ridiculous.  I shouldn't feel bad for sharing good news, neither should you.  And I don't really think it's the good news that bothers people, it's the selfishness of why not me too that consumes them.


So here are some tips I think that can aid in sharing and receiving good news...

Good News Sharer:
1. Make sure the timing is appropriate...If you are going to share good news with a person or group, just make sure it's an okay time to do so.  Think before you open your mouth.  It's not that people don't want to hear it, they just need to be in the right frame of mind to hear it.
2. Say it in the most humble, yet proud way possible...Something good happened to you for a reason, be proud of that reason, but also be humbled by that reason.  Church planting has really taught me this.  There are many times I act like it's no big deal that God brought certain people to our team when really it is a BIG DEAL!  We wouldn't be able to move forward without certain key players, and God has provided those key players.  Stay proud and humbled by your good news.     
3. Encourage the ones you are sharing the good news with...People want to know their rainbow is coming at the end of the storm too.  I am not asking you to lie or make anything up, but encourage the people you are with to keep hustling, keep dreaming, keep working hard.  I think the best encouragement comes in the form of personal stories, tell about a time you wanted to give up, and because you didn't or because you did this instead, this happened. 

Now to the ones who are listening to the good news being shared, you are not off the hook...here is my advice to you...

Good News Receivers:
1. Be genuinely happy for the person...This person whether they fully thought about it or not, they are sharing their good news with you, please be happy for them.  Sometimes good news trumps common sense.  A couple days after we lost our baby a friend joyously told me she was expecting and she was elated.  Yes it hurt, yes, it felt unfair, yes, my physical wounds of this lost life were still there, but my friend was happy.  She knew I lost a baby, but again, good news sometimes trumps common sense.  I was happy for her, but sad for me.  But I rejoiced with the good news.  That may be an extreme example, but just know sometimes people are not going to be able to think about all that is going on in your life before they spew their good news.
2. Don't take it personally...This one is harder said than done.  Their good news is not a reflection of your life, of your dream, of your hustle, or your fill in the blank.  It's not because you didn't do something they are now getting a reward.  I often hesitate to share good news about our church plant because I know so many other planters are struggling, and I don't want to make them feel bad.  But the truth is every situation is different.  Sometimes they win and we lose, and sometimes we win and they lose.
3. Keep hustling and dreaming...Don't give up after hearing someones good news.  Most people feel defeated after hearing something about someone else, like "oh great all the awesome prizes in life are taken now, I concede."  Someones good news should spur you on to keep dreaming, keep working, keep going.  After I hear something good from someone working towards the same goal as me I do feel defeated and kinda like why them not me, but then after I get that out of my system, I get a little competitive and think "if they can do it, so can I."

I am not sure when this transition of good news being so bad happened, but I think we need to reverse the stigma associated with good news.  Lets rejoice with those who rejoice, lets be happy for them, and lets not think about ourselves and what we aren't achieving in that one single moment.  People have good news to share, do not make them regret sharing it with you.        


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I enjoyed seeing your website. My name is Eric Ferguson of Shrewsbury PA. I saw your article on the Amish. And noticed you have the same name. And great that you love the Lord as I do. I am Vice President Region 3 of Clan Ferguson of North America Society. You should join our group. http://www.cfsna.net . Send email to knight@fastmail.fm.