Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014

About a month or so ago I received a text message from my mom simply asking "are you done blogging?"  At first I thought well no, then maybe, then hmmm...

See when you don't use your voice, you start to lose it, and then it's hard to find it again.  That's me.  I took a way unintentional blogging break, and it's been hard to get back into it.  I share a lot on Instagram so find me there: thefergusonfamily4

So to me that's like my picture blog.  Like my substitute for my voice.  But there's something inside of me that says I am not finished blogging yet.  I still have a little bit of a fight left me in. 

Every year for my birthday my mom will print the previous years blog posts off for me in a book format.  I found Molly last week reading through one.  At first I was like "hey, that's private!"  Silly, I know, since hello I published it on the internet.  But she looked at me and said "I am just trying to get to know you better, mom."

And there you have it.  If for nothing else I will continue to blog so one day my girls can read my words, feel my emotions, and see my heart.

As 2014 comes to a close and my voice is coming back to me, I will say that 2014 was the absolute hardest year and yet the most rewarding year for our family.  Last year at this time we had no clue what we were going to do in 2014, we were praying to God to show us the way.  We had given up on church planting, we had given up on working for a traditional church, we felt lost, alone, and ready to give up altogether on this things we felt called to.  Ministry is not cut and dry, it's not one size fits all.

In February we felt absolute clarity that we were supposed to plant a church.  Once we finally had nothing left to give to God anymore, he gave us all we needed, direction.  We launched our church, Movement Church, on October 12, 2014.  Trust me, church planting is not for the faint of heart.  There were more times I wanted to give up then continue going.  My pillow has been soaked with tears more times than I can count.  But I will say, for no matter how long God continues to allow us to minister at Movement, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Ministry is a calling, not a job. 

Molly and Lucy both are doing great.  Molly turned 7 this year and Lucy turned 4.  Molly loves second grade, and Lucy loves her preschool class she attends 3 mornings a week.  I started substitute teaching this school year and I love it.  I love the flexibility of the schedule and if I need to miss a day, I totally can.  I also oversee our Kids on the Move ministry at church. 

We have gone from living in our friend's basement, to living with our parents, to buying a house, and actually having someone live with us.  I feel like we have come full circle now.

2014 was the year of the desert, the hilltop, the valley, the mountain, and now the straight road.  It was brutal emotionally and mentally, but through it all God never left our side.  He allowed us to feel comforted and encouraged through it all.  We have great friends and family that held us up when we wanted to fall down.  I can't tell you how many SOS text messages I sent my friends, and how many "you can do this" texts I received back.  

I am looking forward to 2015 with anticipation, unlike 2014- a year I wanted to escape.  I have this expectancy vibe going on for 2015, what will happen at Movement, will we ever be finished fixing up our house, and will Eric and I really run a marathon...see, so much to look forward to.  So it's a good thing I am not done blogging yet.